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Thursday, April 25, 2013

Rant


Author's Note: This is a short response to "A Clean, Well-lighted Place" by Hemmingway.  You could consider this piece a "rant" of sorts.

Almost everyone can agree that once you read a short story or a novel, you crave a filmed version of the text.  More often than not, the film adaptation is not what you want it to be; it lacks details and overall, it will never be as good as how you pictures it in your head.  Unfortunately, “A Clean, Well-lighted Place” falls into that sort.  When I first read the story, even though I wasn’t 100% certain what the point of the story was, I had a picture in my mind.  The picture in my mind was not even close to the film adaptation.
 
In the story, it says, “…everyone had left the cafe except an old man who sat in the shadow the leaves of the tree made against the electric light…”.  That exact saying makes me picture an old diner with uncomfortable plastic booths.  I see the old man sitting in the corner booth, facing away from the rest of the diner, and just the old man minding his own business while in the shadows.  The film makers thought differently.  The whole first part of the film is in complete light.  The old man is not sitting in the shadows, he is facing the restaurant, and just in general, he sticks out like a sore thumb.  Not in the meaningful way, either.  It just looks like the man was photo shopped into the frame.  That was the biggest “beef” I had with the film, but in general, it was not at all what I thought it would be.  Very disappointing.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Darkness in the Light

Author's Note: This piece answers the question, "How does Hemingway use light and dark as symbols? How do the shadows fit in?".

I think that in the story, “A Clean, Well-lighted Place”, light and dark symbolize the happy and the sad, the good and the bad, the living and the dead.  The story reads, “It was very late and everyone had left the cafe except an old man who sat in the shadow the leaves of the tree made…”, the old man sits in the shadows.  He doesn’t want to be noticed, nor does he want to stand out; just blend in.  Often times, sitting in the shadows or the dark means that you are trying to go unnoticed, trying to sit in solitude, or just wither where no one can see you.  The old man goes to the cafĂ© because it is his light, his safe place, but he sits in the shadows because he is so lonely and so depressed.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Oh, the Little Things


In most novels, authors very discreetly add miniscule details that will often times mean so much more later in the book but in which the reader won’t even notice until it is clearly pointed out in black and white.   The little things such as a mockingjay pin, a simple “Thank you, Ma’am”, or even a mocking bird can seem like so little, but they turn out to be something that we didn’t even think of: a reason why Districts are rebelling against the Capitol, the title of the actual story itself, and sometimes, it can hint at the ending of the book.   Besides novels, movies, more often than not, show you certain places, people, possessions, or even ideas that wrap around to make an ending that elicits a sense of relief, awe, terror, curiosity, or pure joy.  Little hints make you realize things that aren’t even written in the book, and they help you understand the characters on a deeper level.  To the naked eye, Atticus Finch just looks like a father that is “…too old for that…” (89), but by reading between the lines and paying attention to the little things, you realize that Jem and Scout really don’t know their own father.

As you grow up, your parents’ past is gradually eased into your knowledge.  A hint here, a story there (usually associated with a learned lesson), but we don’t come into this world with a full understanding of who our parents really are.  When you first dive into Maycomb County in 1933, Scout thinks that her father, Atticus Finch, is just a regular man.  Just a single dad.  Just a lawyer.  Just Atticus Finch.  Scout doesn’t realize that there is so much more to Atticus.  She say’s herself that “Atticus was feeble: he was nearly fifty”, he “didn’t do anything”, and “he was nearly blind in one eye” (118).  Because the story is told from innocent and unknowing Scout’s point of view, we as readers are shocked as feeble, old Atticus picked up the gun and shot the mad dog.  Is Atticus really who we thought he was?  No.  Atticus is “…the deadest shot in Maycomb County…” (129).

Although Atticus shooting a sick dog does not throw Scout’s world into a raging frenzy, it causes her to take a second look at him.  One night, curiosity gets the better of Jem, Dill, and Scout, and they decide to follow Atticus.  They are taken to town, where they see a “solitary light burning in the distance” (201) and Jem finds it funny that the light is there, because the jail doesn’t have an outside light.  The kids come closer to find Atticus sitting propped against the front door.  Atticus is there to protect Tom Robinson; he is the only one there to protect Tom Robinson.  He is the only good in the bad, he is the only light in the darkness.  Of course, Scout is confused by Atticus’ actions, but maybe one day she realized that Atticus was the only man willing to risk his life for a Negro.

By then, curiosity is slowly creeping its way into Scout’s head.  Does she really know Atticus Finch? He is just her father, but his discreet actions gain him respect.  The kind of respect where you wish you could have his guts to be able to stand alone.  Scout doesn’t realize that her father is such an icon, she doesn’t have the respect for him that the Negros do.  When she is told, “Miss Jean Louise, stand up.  Your father is passin’.” (283), it finally pries open her eyes to reveal the real Atticus Finch.  The comment from Reverend Skyes caught Scout off guard because she didn’t have the respect for him that the Negros had.  It may take her some time to piece the puzzle together, but she certainly has all the pieces to the puzzle.

Atticus Finch said, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view - until you climb into his skin and walk around in it” (39).  If we were to walk around in Atticus’ skin, he was not just a lawyer, just a father, or just Atticus Finch.  He was the man that had to do the dirty work, the man that stood alone, but also the man that deserved a medal or award.  Something to reward his bravery, courage, and unwavering view on the world, even when everyone was against him.  Atticus Finch never gave in, even though if he would have, he would have been accepted by everyone again.  Atticus’ little, unseen acts make him who he is, and they go unnoticed until we walk around in his skin.  He was alone, different, an outcast to some, but by his actions, Atticus Finch was the utmost respected man in Maycomb County.



Wednesday, March 20, 2013

"Friends"

I guess being alone is better than hating the people you are with.  Some people just constantly lie.  Some people tear you down.  Some people break their promises.  Some people screw you over.  Some people stab you in the back.  Some people crave your tears.  They do this to you, yet still have the audacity to call themselves your "friends".  Some people just want to see you crack; they want you to break completely. That is exactly why some people are so alone.  They prefer to be alone, rather than be constantly torn apart by the people that are supposed to be building them up.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

IT


the black blanket surrounds

me
IT wraps itself around
me
IT holds me
down
IT suffocates my
emotions
IT holds me
close
IT hides me from
everyone
sometimes I crawl out of the black blanket
but IT grabs me by the foot and drags me
back
into ITs nothingness
but the blanket is always with me
IT is always there
when everyone else walks out on
me
IT is my
worst enemy
IT is my
downward spiral
but IT is my only
companion

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Heartbeat


All alone, I sit in my room
And I just lay there
Isolated
With each beat of my heart
I recall all the times I wasn't alone
Days on the beach with my best friends
Movie dates with him
Dinner with my family
With each memory 
A painful sadness knocks at my heart's door
Knock knock
Knock knock
Knock knock
Fights
Separation 
Yelling
Shouting, madness, pain, tears, screams
All alone I sit in my room
And I just lay there
With each beat of my heart
I die just a little inside

Questions Pacing Back and Forth Through a Mother's Head


Why won't she come home?
Why won't she talk to me?
Who is she becoming?
What is she hiding from me?
Why do we have to fight?
Why did I have to yell?
Who is comforting her right now?
What have we become?
Why am I such a bad parent?
Is it my fault she is this way?
Why does she shut me out?

Where does she go when she walks out?

All Lonesome


Voices all around me
They surround me like a blanket
People all around me
No room to breathe
Laughter all around me
I'm not in on the joke
Smiles all around me
A frown rests on my face
Happiness all around me
A pain finds its home in my heart
People all around me
Yet I am so alone

Macey and Mommy, but Not Daddy

Macey just listened to the water's slow stream trickle by her.  It was dark enough outside that she couldn't see but she could hear, I guess it was better that way.  Sitting on a rock near the river and listening to the not so spring water stream by her, Macey recalled the time her and her mom went to the bank.  That was the day that Mommy was so stressed, and she couldn't stop turning around to check for her shadow.  

"Mommy, what's wrong?" Macey questioned with the soft tone of a mouse.
"Nothing, baby.  We are just going on a little...vacation," Mommy replied, checking behind her once again.  Macey could see a bruise below her eye, along with a cat scratch along her hairline.  

"Where's Daddy?"  Mommy's eyes got wide and she forgot to breathe for a second, but Macey was too young to notice.

"He can't come, he ha-has to work and we won't be seeing Daddy for awhile" 

"Oh. Okay, Mommy" Macey said with a frown.  If only she knew what Daddy was capable of.  The banker handed Mommy the money, three thousand dollars, and they were out of there faster than a bolt of lightning.  

Crunching leaves and sticks behind Macey pulled her back to reality.  

"Why would you lie to me?" Macey questions.  She hopes that Mom doesn't notice the wavering embedded in her voice.

"You were too young to understand"  Mom says near tears.

"I thought you were stealing me away from him.  You should have told me!"  

Mom's words are faint, "Oh...you're right.  I should have told you.  I just didn't want you to grow up, knowing that the one man that you could trust, was also the only man you had to fear..."

Taking Death's Cold, Cold Hand as He Leads You to Immortality


Death.  The act of dying, the end of the line.  Some people choose to accept the fact that it's the end of the line.  They might even welcome Death.  While some people refuse to belly up to the fact that there is no more.  No more time to rewrite the past, no way to mortality.  Whether you are going to accept Death or refuse the fact that there is no more, Death welcomes you as a guest.  A permanent guest.  He rises you up from your bump in the ground and he takes you for a ride that lasts an eternity.  You see, Death has a persistent will to make sure you stay with him...forever.  Whether you choose to accept his hand into the carriage or not is not my problem.  

"Because I could not stop for Death" is a poem by Emily Dickinson that describes her rather accepting encounter with Death.  The poem reads, "Because I could not stop for Death, He kindly stopped for me".  When Death wants to take you, he does, and it doesn't matter if you  are busy or unready.  He will take you when he feels it's your time.  The poem proceeds to read, "The carriage held but just ourselves, and Immortality" .  It's a ride with Death for one, and let's just say that this ride is going to last a long, long time.  The beginning of the second stanza reads, "We slowly drove, he knew no haste".  Why does Death have to rush?  He knows not of running out of time, for he has Eternity on his side.  From there female unknown says, "And I had put away my labor, my leisure too, for his civility".  She put away all of her distracting thoughts so she could just enjoy the ride with Death.  The ride that she will never step out of the carriage from.

In the third stanza, she "passed the school, where children strove at recess, in the ring"  Death is kind enough to drive the carriage by a school.  There, children play as they do, and maybe they weren't just any old school.  Maybe Death took her by her school; he took her for a ride by her own life as a sick joke.  People say that after you die, your brain still has seven minutes to go over all your important memories in your life, almost as if your life flashes before your eyes.  It could be like the same thing; dear old Death is taking her for a ride through her previous life.  What a kind soul he is.   The poem continues to read, "We passed the fields of grazing grain, we passed the setting sun, or rather he passed us".  They didn't pass the lovely scenery, because once you are dead, don't you become part of the scenery?  Your soul pants a seed in the grazing grain, with the other seeds and you go down with the setting sun.  The only thing is you won't be rising with the sun ever again.  Female unknown describes how "The dews grew quivering and chill, for only gossamer my gown, my tippet only tulle".  The major tell tale  sign for when someone is dead is if they are cold.  It also seems that she isn't dressed appropriately for her ride:a gossamer and tippet?  Fine pieces of clothing she has on, maybe for a wedding or even a funeral.  Maybeher funeral.

The fifth stanza describes how she "paused before a house that seemed a swelling in the ground; the roof scarcely visible, the cornice but a mound".  A house that seemed but a swelling in the ground, with a cornice in the ground, which is also known a gravestone.  I feel like that swelling in the ground is a freshly dug and buried grave.  She implies, "Since then 'tis centuries, and yet each feels shorter than the day".  She has been along for the ride for awhile now.  But what is 'awhile'?  To Death, Eternity is just a mere span of time, but days can be considered awhile to the mortal.  Finally, the poem announces, "I first surmised the horses' heads were towards Eternity".  It feels like like centuries are shorter than twenty four hours.  Well that, my dear, is because hours, days, years, eternities are like seconds compared to Eternity.

Death.  No more time to rewrite the past, no way to mortality.  At first, Death welcomed her, and she unknowingly took Death's hand as he lead her into the carriage.  Soon after, female unknown realized that there is no escape from this ride with Death, but she accepted the fact that her time ran out.  There was nothing that she could change, and she just sat back and enjoyed her ride through Eternity.

a single white crayon



I am a white crayon
I am always here
But no one bothers to use me
I am different
But everyone wants me to be normal
I am surrounded by colors
But I am so plain
So alone
I am looked at often 
But just a waste of space
I am coloring
But no one can see what I have to say
I am a white crayon
Pointless

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Finally at Peace



Rest your eyes my dear, it's all okay now
Rest your eyes my dear, for all your troubles are gone
Rest your eyes my dear, no one can hurt you anymore
Rest your eyes my dear, there are no more tears
Rest your eyes my dear, all your worries are gone with the wind
Rest your eyes my dear, it's time to sleep
Rest your eyes my dear, for you walk on Dead Man's Path now.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

stepping out into a forewarned storm


sorry mom and dad for all the confusion
sorry heart for all those illusions
sorry friends for all the years
sorry pillow for all the tears
sorry boy for all the stress
sorry me, for I got myself into this mess

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Fallen from the sky


White angel kisses fall from the sky
       And find themselves at home, resting
       On the tip of my bitter cold nose
White angel kisses stay for a moment
       And for a second or two I
       See their beauty
       Only for a second
White angel kisses, shy as they are
       Melt away just as they do

Nothingness

a gap where something should be
it wasn't there to start
but eventually you forget
what life was like when it wasn't there
the picture starts to fade
away, away
slowly fading away
there is a gap where it should be
but with time even the ink
in which you two wrote
begins to fade
away, away
slowly fading away until there is a gap
where it should be
where it has always been

Monday, January 7, 2013

Untitled


The most beautiful girls are the ones that were called ugly
The bravest girls are the ones that hide the tears
The most supportive girls are the ones that have no one there for themselves
The nicest girls are the ones that are pushed around
The strongest girls are the ones that were build by tears.